blekz

i really don't have an way to express my emotion sometimes..
just have to pretend to be no emotion at all sometimes in school..
although i feel damn unhappy and damn it!
i really don't like that attitude..
who does she think she is..
athough she is very talented and i know
everyone will say she is a genius.
i think so..
she is really really brilliant..!
but what's that attitude..huh!/
when talking to her...she just answer what she want...
and ignore the other questions...
and you can be asking her the question this minute..
the next minute she say to other..
o,lets go..
wow!
so embarrassing..!
just like i am invisible..
why am i being so stupid want to talk with her..
and when i talk with others ...
she can be her in a second..
and ignore the conversations that are going..
just ask what she is..
i know she is a genius..
and her time is much more precious...!
but pls don't show this disrespect for me ...
PISS OFF!
anyway..
i feel grateful enough..
now..
i have been avoiding talking to her much..
anything i don't know..
i just ask other people than her.
even if i can't get the answer..i will avoid to ask her..
don ask her don ask her..
i keep reminding myself..
i am sorry to say that
I HATE HER SO MUCH SOMETIMES!

holiday?

it's holiday now...but ...
i am not sure whether it's a holiday for me..
a whole two weeks of tuition..
i am sure this is not my usual self..
taking a tuition class that cost my holiday...
i had even sacrificed my chinese,english and malay tution last year because i want to relax..
and now
i am taking a moral tuition for 2 weeks times..
a tuition holiday...~
totally tuition holiday..
am i doing the right thing for attending this tuition..
or i am just following people?
i hate this thought so much..
i hate myself so much when i am just folowing people..
that's a huge HATE!
anyway..
i don't thnk i am just following people..
perhaps i really need this tuition...
2 weeks...8 days..
just enjoy the classes...and bring yourself the joy~

lost

wow...
a three weeks of examination finally was over..
i felt torture enough just for this three weeks examination...
wow
i dono how i manage to go through the trail and spm..
it's a month then...
i just have to keep telling myself..
have faith
have faith
why am i feel so lost sometimes...
just..
indescribable..
especially when someone was there keep teasing about my hard work
frustrated about it..
anyway
this yea is much luckier
i tried to be alone sometimes
to avoid that types of unreasonable 'opinion'
i am happy for myself
at least i know how to avoid some friends...
what true friends means..
i am not sure about it a all..
i am lost..
totally...
especially when she is a friend of about 10 years..
you can't just say you hate her..
because it's your friends for te years..
how can a people hate a person the same time and be her friend for the long period?
i guess..
it's weird..
i just don't like her talking style..
it piss me off..
and it grab away the peaceful feeling in my heart sometimes..
i try to control myself..
lately..
have try to ignore lots of emotion..
lots of conversation...
lots of things.
i don't know how well it worked out...
i hope it will work out..
just switch off the negative emotion is my dream..
is huge dream..
izzit everybody's dream?
i guess..