....

呜....
我就知道补习坐她前面是不能听课的..
我也不知道..为什么..
该说她乱吗..
不是啊..
大家都很乱..但只要听到她的声音..
我就真的感觉到很烦很烦了啊...天啊..
真的有种骂粗口的感觉啊...!
我真的真的很讨厌她拉!
就是..
我不会..
我也不敢开口问老师了..!
真的非常讨厌...
因为只要问..
她又会在那边说三说四了啊..
要不然..
就是那一副跟旁边的人说..
:喂,你看,她会也...
:我又最后了啦..
她说出来的话就是给我一种很不舒服的感觉就对了!
她就不断地在那边说她以前多聪明什么的..
还说什么比很多人好..
我倒是不清楚啦..
因为以前还笑..
我怎么会去比来比去呢?
她那爱比又超爱妒嫉的性格和言行真的让我很不舒服..
非常地不舒服!
呜..
真的很长pek cek..
补了一个星期的道德一大堆疑问却没问去..
我真的很讨厌补习时做在她的前后拉..
我就知道她一定会夺去我的平静!!!!!!!!!
上次马来文也是蛤..
乱死了..
她每次都让我美好的心情给破坏耶!
不然就是弄到我不想听课了...
因为她很喜欢做那一副很讨人厌的模样..
好象只要她不能听课..
别人也一定要跟她一起不听课的样子啊..
我真的气暴了!

下次不惜一定不可以这样了!
一直忍,忍,忍..也不是办法啊!!!!
啊!就算了吗?
每次都这样..
好像很没原则也!
努力控制自己的耳朵啦..
关掉她的声音!!!!!!!!!!!
不要管她啦!
浪费时间和精力在一件那么看不顺眼的事情上是很傻的行为...

没法子..我就是比别人敏感啊.........

what a holiday~

it was not a holiday that i planned..
with songs,
story books in an air-cond room..
with movies..
hanging out ...
bla!!!!!!wake up..
and it's tuition time!!!
i know i should stop complaining about it..
i know i am not this type of 'strong' person..
that can go for non-stop tuition..
this is not my style..
i believe in myself more..
have faith...
don't just depends on tuition..
trust yourself..
i keep reminding myself..
how much time i still need to remind myself about this??

no peace

just now i was damn shocked..
wow..
the first time i knew the feeling of scary..
and when i was shocked...
my mind just went blank and..
i juz can run..
nth else..
that two man just saw me and smile and laugh!
sucks...!
they were like doing some dirty expressions..
ouk!!!!!!!!
then i am scared enough and ran..
then suddenly..
a motor pass by..
i thought is that two men..
but no..
it was another one man..
and after he is gone..
he turned back his head and stared at me..
he just gave me a feeling like he was going to turn back..
oh my god..!
i was so scared..
and every house seems so quiet..
no people are outside at all..
if really anything happen,i really don't know what will happen..
thanks god..nth happen..
i promise..
i won't walk on the road alone again!
NEVER EVER NEVER!
AND THAT IS JUST A VERY SHORT DISTANCE..
although it was a short distance..
it had made my hearts pump fast for one hour..
ok..maybe i was gutless..
anyway..
i just had a very bad feeling just now..
feeling like i am in a dangerous situation..
it was like a mere escape..
if jus now i was in another dark lorong...
i was almost sure the man on motor will turn back..
it was like a nightmare..
although few minutes..
it was a life experience..
i will never walk alone at the outside of my house..
i really can't imagine if anything happen..
how much regret i will in..
just to eat hokkien mee..
it was an unsafe taman..
taman petani jaya..
no peace....

damn it! damn it! damn it! damn it!!

damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!
damn it!

哀

我很矛盾..
为什么..
她再说话..
她在后面..
会让我如此地不舒服呢..
为什么..
我就是那么专心地去聆听她说的每一句话呢..
她一定会说我在偷听了..
可是..
我却狠不得换个位置...
不再听到她的声音..
可是...
却又没有必要为了她啊...
其实...很多不需要的东西..
却因为她..
使我乱想了起来...
什么事啊..
怎么我总觉得她一次又一次地夺走了我内心的平静呢..
好久了..
不..
应该说..
好多年了..
怎么办呢..
自己也应该习惯了吗...
可是...
我却依然茫然着..
前一些日子..
我..
终于...
平静了.
没有她在我身旁的日子..
可是..
为什么..
我一次又一次地陷入这个矛盾中呢..
我是真的真的不懂....
希望...
我能专著..
专著得忘了她的存在...

沉默

我爱上了
沉默..
因为..
它
让我一点都不孤独..
不再空虚..
那感觉非常棒..
不是刺激的那种棒..
而是...
好平静的那种..
我爱透了那感觉...
不用伪装..
不用强言微笑...
真的很好很好...
只需静静地...
看着窗外的一切...
舒服透了...
我需要...
安静....